Don't Fear the Reaper?

It's a question we all ask: what happens to me after I die?

I think about Hell a lot these days...mostly what it is and how I can stay out of it...morbid, I know. But, if you know me...then you KNOW me.

First and foremost, I want to tell you that I do believe in God...I have to, literally since the moment I was born (3 months premature) I've been walking on and out of situations that should have hurt or killed me...or at least left an emotional scar. Someone out there is protecting me, why I can only guess. And then there are the ghosts...there is at least life after death in some form, I know, I've seen them.

This post, of course, assumes you subscribe to the Church's version of Heaven and Hell- GOOD (whatever that is...Crusades anyone?) Jews (pre-Christ) and Christians (post-Christ) go to Hell because they accept God AND Jesus into their lives and show His (Their) love and salvation through all that they do in their lives (not easy, is it? I’m pretty sure Jesus never flipped anyone off in traffic) and everyone else suffers unimaginable torment in a great lake of burning sulfur...quite the choice we get, eternal worship and servitude or unceasing torture.


Not exactly fair is it? This, contrary to popular belief, is not a rant against God (perhaps against the man-made Church, but I'll try and keep it down a bit) but, a quest for answers...or maybe just for sleep.

Okay, you're not going to like this but my main problem stems from...the Bible. In the Bible there are many passages that when taken literally are hard to swallow or seem to outright promote hate crimes (homophobia much?), some of this is only when the Bible is taken and used in the wrong hands but some is plan Church propaganda.

The problem isn't so much the Bible, but how much it's changed over the years; it's been translated how many times? And usually by men (need to control the females in your "flock"? Make Eve the evil one and you get a great guilt trip you can use for centuries). It's also a proven fact (according to my Early Church professor at Saint Thomas University) the monks who were translating and copying the Bible would add content in or take it out if told to and sometimes just because they felt like it. There have even been scrap copies found where there were doodles in the margins of the page...nice to know they took their work so seriously.

Even the Jewish teachers are decried in the Bible as hindering the spirit’s progress to Heaven. Matthew 23:15: “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For ye compass sea and land to make one proselyte [ed: a convert], and when he is made, ye make him twofold more the child of hell than yourselves.”



But, on the other hand, I have to give credit where credit is due, without these talented men we wouldn't have amazing works of art like the Book of Kells- Google it, it's beautiful and permanently on display at Trinity College Dublin in Ireland.

So Heaven...what is it? I'm not even going to ask where it is, my mind isn't up for that one tonight. Is it all the Good people sitting on clouds in togas strumming harps? Is it like earth but with out the pain and suffering? What about that white light so many people who've had near death experiences have seen? Does anyone ever see Hell during these out of body experiences?

And if there's a Heaven then surely there has to be a Hell, right? So, somewhere out there, there is a giant, all consuming lake of burning sulfur that all the evil people get pitched into. In the Church evil means non-Christian, those who had the chance to convert and passed it up.

Psalm 55:15 says: “Let death seize upon them, and let them go down quick into hell: for wickedness is in their dwellings, and among them.”

But wickedness is never defined, is it murder and mayhem or merely not living a perfect Christian life?

This is what the Bible has to say of the final judgment in Revelation 20:12-15:

“And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
And the sea gave up the dead which were in it; and death and hell delivered up the dead which were in them: and they were judged every man according to their works.
And death and hell were cast into the lake of fire. This is the second death.
And whosoever was not found written in the book of life was cast into the lake of fire.”

A question I've had since I was a little kid was/is: what happened to all the civilizations that existed before Judaism and Christianity (our own ancestry lies within "cavemen") or that died on continents like South America where the word of God never reached for a long long time? Did they ALL go to Hell?

Psalm 9:17 says: “The wicked shall be turned into hell, and all the nations that forget God.”

But can they have forgotten God if they never knew Him in the first place?



Surely, in a world that is so full of shades of grey the end can't be so black and white...God Himself killed when it suited His plans.

Exodus 14: 26-28:
“And Jehovah said to Moses, Stretch out thy hand over the sea, that the waters may return upon the Egyptians, upon their chariots and upon their horsemen.
And Moses stretched out his hand over the sea, and the sea returned to its strength toward the morning; and the Egyptians fled against it; and Jehovah overturned the Egyptians into the midst of the sea.
And the waters returned, and covered the chariots and the horsemen of all the host of Pharaoh that had come into the sea after them; there remained not even one of them.”


Lucifer, an ANGEL, fell. Isaiah 14:12-19: “How art thou fallen from heaven, Lucifer, son of the morning! Thou art cut down to the ground, that didst prostrate the nations!
And thou that didst say in thy heart, I will ascend into the heavens, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God, and I will sit upon the mount of assembly, in the recesses of the north;
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High:
none the less art thou brought down to Sheol, to the recesses of the pit.
They that see thee shall narrowly look upon thee; they shall consider thee, [saying,] Is this the man that made the earth to tremble, that shook kingdoms;
[that] made the world as a wilderness, and overthrew the cities thereof; [that] dismissed not his prisoners homewards?
All the kings of the nations, all of them, lie in glory, every one in his own house;
but thou art cast out of thy grave like an abominable branch, covered with the slain -- those thrust through with the sword, that go down to the stones of the pit: like a carcase trodden under foot.”


And Judas, one of Jesus' own chosen disciples, gave him up to the Romans and killed himself.

Matthew 27:1-5:
“When the morning was come, all the chief priests and elders of the people took counsel against Jesus to put him to death:
And when they had bound him, they led him away, and delivered him to Pontius Pilate the governor.
Then Judas, which had betrayed him, when he saw that he was condemned, repented himself, and brought again the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,
Saying, I have sinned in that I have betrayed the innocent blood. And they said, What is that to us? See thou to that.
And he cast down the pieces of silver in the temple, and departed, and went and hanged himself.”

Killing yourself, some in the Church say, damns you immediately without thought for the circumstances the act was committed under...what if the Pope kills himself? Does he go to Hell?

In Matthew 10: 28 we are taught not to “…fear not them that kill the body, but are not able to kill the soul; but rather fear Him that is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.” Is suicide a form of murder? I don’t think it is, suicide is not taking another’s life but your own and that is your choice alone.


Another thing that bothers me about Judas is, if he DIDN'T give Jesus up then the whole "save the world" plan would be dead in the water. You could argue, and I do, that Judas was born to betray Christ to further the Christian mission and not responsible for his actions, God is. Really think about it, what if Judas didn't give Jesus up? You may say that God would have had someone else do it...but wouldn't that mean our infallible God failed?


I read a book last summer (I'd tell you the title and author if I could remember and hadn't left it in Canada...oops) in which the author, a medium (suspend your disbelief please) says that he's dealt with many kinds of entities in his line of work. He says that different souls are at different spiritual levels, sounds weird but think about it some people are barely human (Hitler, Ted Bundy, that guy who is a closet alcoholic who beats his wife because he hates himself) while others are living saints (Mother Teresa, Princess Di, the wife who gets beat because she believes her husband needs her and loves him despite everything) are these two groups really equally spiritually evolved?

The author says that there are levels of spiritual development in life and after, that the lowest souls get the lowest level after death and the purest souls get the highest level. Obviously, the lowest level is our idea of Hell and the highest is Heaven. But here come the shades of grey and second chances I've searched for: there are levels in between, many levels, for all those souls that are neither the lowest nor the highest...you know, us "normal" people.

Here's the twist I know some of you will get caught up on...souls are reused (according to the author, I'm not sure...but then we can't be sure of anything so who knows?).

It's like the low and mid-level souls get some second chances to move higher (or lower) on the spiritual afterlife totem pole. I assume, most souls don't remember their former lives (some people do, I for one am up for regression therapy!). But each go round can move a soul a peg up or down depending on how they act during the time they're given and eventually (hopefully) they reach the highest level. Ever hear someone call a person an "old soul" even if it's a seven year old kid they're talking about? Maybe they're right. Maybe our Mother Teresas are on their final round before they reach the top and they stand out in life for the works they do because they're so close to Heaven.


Is there anything out there? I have to believe there is, for me and not for some man-made Church that may or may not be on the money every Sunday.


You know when you think about it all major religions are pretty similar. A couple even share holy books (Christianity, Islam and Judaism all share the Old Testament).

Maybe being a good person (in the don't kill puppies sense and less of the ridged Church sense) and following the main, corresponding tenants (I'm trying to stay on the level here, I do believe some of the things I learned in Sunday School- the book of Revelations scares me just thinking about it) of any religion you find yourself in is good enough...?


I want to know what will happen to me, and people like me, when we die. Will I go to Hell simply because I keep my faith to myself and don't conform to a Church I'm unsure of even if I live a good life?

And remember, fear of Hell, so they say, isn't enough to get you into Heaven...so if an Angel, a disciple and whole civilizations didn't have a chance, what kind of chance at eternal peace do I have?

What chance do any of us have?

Am I the "heretic" that will go to Hell for asking too many questions and, perhaps not enough faith, or am I allowed to be this open-minded because God created me in HIS image?

God's message is love and life. Man's message is praise and protect..."Praise God and pass the ammunition" is a favorite quote of mine. Personally, I think God is closer to being a Hippie than a televangelist.

I've rambled, I might not have always stayed on point and Lord knows I don't have an answer to my own questions (does anyone really? They wouldn't be questions if we also had the answers).

I just thought I'd share, maybe make some space in my head so I can sleep without wrestling with cosmic issues beyond human comprehension…you know, the usual.